Gratitude

給一個人一條魚，你可以餵他一天。教人以漁，你餵他一輩子

Gěi yīgèrén yītiáo yú, nǐ kěyǐ wèi tā yītiān. Jiào rén yǐ yú, nǐ wèi tā yībèizi.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

     Growing up in my house, it was hard NOT to learn how to cook. It wasn't that I resented cooking but as a teenager I thought cooking for the family was the mother's job (now that I'm a mom I totally disagree). There were times when my mom would feel really sick after a long day at work so she's lie down. She'd ask us (I won't tell you how many times she'd have to ask us as we fought over who'd do it) many times to help. We were, for the most part, unwilling children. Both mom and dad can cook but dad would sometimes some home late so usually mom would do the cooking. But when she was sick she's instruct us from the room. Running back and forth from her room to the kitchen. Cut the meat this way. Stir the food that way. I thought it was the worst. Now that I have my own family I am so grateful that I was taught how to cook. Not only from the room, but through example. They say you shouldn't give a gift grudgingly? I say you shouldn't "help" with cooking grudgingly because you just might miss out on something you wish you could have back. Time.

   Time spent with family and friends. I think about it now and realize all those times I had to husk the ears of Kahuku Super Sweet Corn or peel the shells off the shrimp were opportune moments to catch up on the lives of my siblings. Though as teenagers we were busy finding ourselves, I wish I took the time to see how mom's day was. To ask how many new friends dad made at work. All those countless hours I spent just chopping away at onions when I could have also been laughing and joking with my loved ones. Don't get me wrong, we did have lots of fun. Like I said, us children were trying to figure out who we were.

    Last Monday I talked to dad and he was really tired. I talked about this blog and asked him to tell me some stories about when he was younger. He told me that once he had taken mom diving. He wanted to lay net but before he went in he used a stick to draw, in the sand, what an octopus hole looked like. While he went and laid net, mom went her way on the reef. When dad came back, mom took him by the hand and showed him 5, yes, 5 octopus holes she'd found. All of which contained octopus. Dad was AMAZED. As he told me this I responded, "what the heck?!? 25 years and I STILL don't know how to find one!" Dad said it was awesome. His tone of voice made it almost seem that this was the deal breaker. I joked that after that he said, 'wait here,' then came back with a ring. When I checked the validity (fishermen love telling stories) of the story she laughed and said, "yeah, he called me Squid Eyes after that." I could see that happening.

     The Chinese have a proverb that says, "If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." I believe this to be true. Mom and dad could easily have made dinner or ordered take out every night. I am so grateful that they wanted our help in cooking because not only do I have a very happy and well fed husband, but because I was able to use my love of cooking, especially barbecuing, to throw together a fundraiser for dad this past weekend. It was more stressful than I thought. In my head I thought I'd only be selling around 50 plates tops. But order after order came in and I was amazed at the support that came pouring in. What, for a moment, felt like an overwhelming experience became lightened at the thought of mom and dad receiving so much love and support by many who have never met them. By the end of the day we had made over 110 plates!

   The Lord has promised that if we live by His commandments that he will pour out His blessings upon us. The fundraiser was proof that The Lord truly showers us with His love. Friends showed up to help and though I did not delegate well, they didn't complain. They stayed for hours as friend after friend came to pick up their plates. Some friends donated food which helped save me tons of time. One friend donated a beautiful quilt to be auctioned off.

   By the end of the day I just sat quietly in my rather untidy two bedroom apartment. A feeling of peace and gratitude came over me as a faces of the day crossed my mind. My husband, who works nights so that he can go to school during the day, was so helpful with our three month old daughter. He only got two hours of sleep before work but didn't complain once. Even our daughter let me put her down for hours at a time and only cried for food once the entire time we were cooking. I will never forget the feeling I had as tears threatened to stream down my face. No words could ever express my gratitude to everyone who contributed to dad's cause.

     Mom and dad were very surprised when I finally told them about the plate sale. They were and are so very grateful for the support they received. I know it was actually the cooking that brought everyone, just kidding ;). We surpassed our goal by the first half hour. 

    From the Kai ohana, we want to thank you for your love and support.

"Thy will be done. But for now we fight."