My father has always been an entertainer. From an early age he loved to perform for others. His love for music stemmed from his late mother. She was of the Pentecostal faith and used her talent in music to touch the hearts of the congragations that gathered. When dad was 12, his mother passed away. At her gravesite he had promised that he wouldn't let a day go by where he didn't strum his ukulele.
I know if you have ever visited the luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center while my father was performing you may have heard the story. I was lucky enough to witness this promise be fulfilled. Our house was always filled with the sound of dad's ukulele. Practicing. I thought it was perfect and never understood why he continued to play day after day when it sounded just right to me. But it had been his way of fulfilling a promise he made to his mother, some 40 years ago. A promise.
He and mom were always involved in our lives. From track meets and soccer games to dance recitals
and class projects. Their love for us wasn't only expressed in words,
but in deed. I never realized how exhausting it must have been for them
to try make it to each of their 6 children's extracurricular activities.
I used to feel so discouraged when I'd look into the stands and not see
them there. But I know now that they, too, felt discouraged that they
weren't able to watch us perform all the time. We loved having them in
our lives. They were married in the Laie, Hawai'i temple in 1982 and
have since tried their best to establish a home based on love and
service. But as you could imagine with three teenage girls (who all wore
about the same size clothes), it wasn't always the case. But they
continued to help us build our testimonies in the Savior and our faith
in God's plan for us.
I
was married in 2009 and my husband and I were expecting our first son
in May of 2010. In April of that year I received a call while at a
friend's house for dinner. "Dad's in the hospital." It was a couple
months before the doctors "concluded" that he had Still's disease. It
would be a few years of hospital trips, faintings, ailing, and paralysis
before doctors found that he had developed tumors in is liver, lungs,
spleen, and spine. At it's rate of growth, the doctors (at a different
hospital than the first time) gathered that his tumors had been growing
for approximately 3 years. Misdiagnosed. The tumor in his spine had
grown into his spinal chord. It was devistating for him and devistating
for all of us. My mom especially.
In
June my mom was visiting us here in Arizona. I have their only
grandchildren who live outside Hawai'i. They have only met my kids a
handful of times. Initially the plan was for mom and my youngest brother
to come and visit. They would fly back with us since my husband wasn't
able to get work off for the amount of time we'd be visiting. Upon
return my dad was supposed to accompany us. I was pregnant with our
third so traveling alone with the two boys was a big "no-no" in my
opinion. Mom came and we had loads of fun. Hiking Walnut Canyon.
Visiting Slide Rock. Viewing the majestic Grand Canyon. She talked to
dad every day. He wasn't doing too well. His medication wasn't helping
and he decided to go to the chiropractor. Dad told mom he felt brand
new. The following day we flew back to Hawai'i. Home sweet home.
Upon arrival our family friends greeted us and helped take our luggage home. They asked how dad was doing. He went to the hospital after seeing the chiropractor. Parylized from the waiste down. We hadn't heard how he was doing. Mom turned on her phone. When we got into the car mom's phone notified her of a text message. It was from dad. She gasped. She read aloud. He first expressed his love for her. He went on to explain that the doctors found a tumor in his spinal chord and they needed to operate immediately. They wanted him and mom to make a decision together but we were already in flight. The doctors who saw the tumor gave him 3-6 months. After mom read this the car fell silent. Mom, my two younger brothers, my nephew, my two children. The tears were silent and the feeling heavy. We went straight to the hospital.
Dad was in the ICU recovering from his surgery. They removed most of the tumor but also had to replace some of the vertabrae. We let mom go in first and spend some time alone with dad. Waiting was dreadful. All around us people were having to decide whether or not to "let go" of their loved ones. The atmosphere was grim. Some of dad's relatives were there and we were smiling and giggling, trying to lighten the mood. Then my turn to see dad came. My heart sunk. I didn't know what to say to him. But he was my daddy. I walked into the room without my sidekicks. They were still too young. I gave dad a kiss on the cheek and in no time we were laughing. Humor. It is amazing how much humor can lighten a load or bring peace in moments of despair. Laughter. Soon, family and friends were gathered in his room. I know he wanted to sleep, that he wanted to just close his eyes and relax for a while. But with a smile on his face he continued in conversation. We realized then that had he not gone to the chiropractor he wouldn't have known the cancer was there. It was truly a blessing.
It was a long battle. Full of ups and downs, as it goes with chemo. Healthy and thriving, to tired and withered. But he pushed on. Countless visitors came to see him. Each time bringing more and more hope to him and leaving with more hope than when they came. Music filled his room. That was his first request for mom. His uke. It had been the first time he hadn't played in a day but I'm sure grandma Josephine understood. Now that he had his uke, he played it every chance he got. Once he was able to sit up without passing out and without pain, he had the nurses bring him to friends' rooms so that he could check up on them. He had a few classmates pass through those rooms so he would roll, with uke in hand, to spread a little bit of aloha.
Aloha. That's what he was all about his entire life. Seeing how he could better the lives of those he came in contact with. By November and after 6 rounds of chemo, Dr. Acoba came into dad's room with two thumbs up. "You are free," was what he told dad. It was truly a miracle. After countless prayers, hours of fasting, and numberless times his name was taken to the temple, we were truly grateful for our family and friends who had the faith to help dad be free of cancer. He was home.
Last month dad was feeling sick. He tried to ignore it but wasn't able to handle the pain any longer. Mom took him to the ER where they found an obscene amount of fluid in his lungs. Upon further review of the x-rays, the doctors noticed the growing tumor on the outside of his lung. It had returned. Our hearts sunk. But this time we were prepared. Dad was in the hospital for a couple weeks and just got through his first round of chemo. The doctor decided that if the cancer came back that rapidly, they would need to do a bone marrow transplant. A trip to the mainland.
It has been one whirlwind of a year but in all I would have to say that it has been our faith in the Savior and God's plan for us that has been our guiding light. We have faced so many obstacles and know that there are many more to come. We also know that there are many, many people out there who have been and are going through what our family is going thorough. My dad doesn't actually know that I am starting this blog but he will very shortly. I know that he has made many, many friends over the years who are always wanting to know how he is doing. I know we have facebook to catch up on him, but I figured this will be a great way for everyone to learn about this man.
I would love to know how you met my dad or maybe a story about how he has touched your life. I wanted to make this blog about you. A way for you to show dad how many people he has inspired. I think it is also a great way for us, his children, to learn more about the man we call father.
Please message me your stories on facebook. Krisha Hingson. Or you you may email me at mamakrisha10@gmail.com. I will feature stories on this blog when I get them so keep a close watch ;).
Thank you for being a part of my father's life. We are so very grateful for the love you have shown us through prayers and service for him and my family. We love you and pray for you.
"Thy will be done, but for now we fight."
