Donating to Dad (Cousin Benny/Butch/Unko Benny)

 This past week my parents and I have been hustling to put together ways to help contribute to dad and mom. We have opened two bank accounts, one with Bank of Hawaii (to take care of the expenses in Hawaii) and the other at Wells Fargo (while receiving his treatment on the mainland). I have also set up another option for those who don't have either of those account and are wanting to donate. It is through gofundme.com. Below are the links and account numbers.



GoFundMe (online transfer from any where and anyone)
Click on the link below:
http://www.gofundme.com/7xgjio  



Bank of Hawaii
Friends of Benny Kai Fund
Account number: 98551476




Wells Fargo

Krisha Hingson
Account number: 9037960458

(the account name is Cousin Benny, but you will need to use the name of the account holder, which is me, to transfer the funds. There was a mix up at the bank and we accidentally set up a checking account rather than a donation account/ But please believe me when I say that all the money will be going to mom and dad)

    We are so touched by the contributions that have already been made and grateful for the support system that we have not only back home, but all over the world. We love you. We pray for you. 

My singing voice is nowhere near as good as dad's, so I'll write down the lyrics of a song I wrote after moving here to Arizona. I'll send my dad the chords and maybe he'll start singing it ;)

My Beautiful Kahuku

The warmth in each and every hi, is where the love is found
A kiss upon each friendly cheek just drives outsiders wild
This is home for one and all, if only you bleed RED
The country side, the sandy beach, it's where my life was set

Oh how I long for the time when I go back again
Stick my feet in the sand and watch the waves rollin' in
Let the time slip away, yeah that's what I'll do
But until that time I'll only dream of you.
My beautiful Kahuku

Hiking lush green mountains and surfin' crystal seas
Playing with the keiki at luaus with the family
Life long friends, have I made, in this humble place
I can always count on the ones time won't erase

Oh how I long for the time when I go back again
Stick my feet in the sand and watch the waves rollin' in
Let the time slip away, yeah that's what I'll do
But until that time I'll only dream of you.
My beautiful Kahuku
My beautiful Kahuku

Been a While

And this is why I am not a professional blogger. 

Sorry for the delay in blogs. 

 Mom and I were able to talk a bunch these past couple weeks and from what I understand...

dad is dad.

His white blood cell count was way, way down his last stay in the hospital but was able to

get much needed rest.

He will be returning to the hospital this week for his final round for this chemo treatment.

As for mom, well she's told me that dad will be coming to Arizona first for his consultation for the bone marrow transplant (as far as we know it's a definite). I'm not sure if they wanted me saying anything but

I Just Did.

It was between here and Utah and mom and I both prayed for it to be here. Nothing against UT (*snickers*), but we decided that he knows 

WAY TOO MANY

people there and wouldn't get much, if any, rest had he gone there. So our prayers were answered and the consultants are currently in contact with the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale to figure out when he'll be coming. 

Why am I excited? It's a bitter sweet feeling. On the one hand I hate that dad had/has to go through this. There's nothing more frustrating than wanting to be there for the people who have sheltered, clothed, fed, and supported you most of your life and who has loved you all your life. But on the other hand dad has yet to meet his second grandprincess,

Yes my friends, I have hopped in the "calling your daughter princess" bandwagon.

She loves people so I know she's excited to meet him.

As I talked to mom she mentioned that she'll have to be prepared for approximately 5 round trips here to AZ. Thank goodness Hawaiian flies direct and that her DoTerra oils will keep her from getting sick. 

I just wanted to thank everyone once more for showing your love to pops and our family back home. Tash and I are both sad that we are not able to be home to help mom out, but grateful for those who've provided them with meals, rides, and support. 

I was told once that I'd be a light to all I meet. I can't help but know it is because of the way mom and dad raised me. They are both amazing people (mom can be shy in crowds but your 

BFF (and I never use that acronym)

when you get to know her. I would like to share an email I received from a gentleman named Doug Takahashi that shows what kind of man dad is (if you didn't already know).

Hi Krisha,

You don’t know me but I came across a link to your blog tonight.  I met your dad in 2008 when we went to visit my daughter and son-in-law while they were going to BYU H.   He was doing some teaching at the elementary school back then and my granddaughter Brylie Wynes was in his class.   She loved him.    He took time to get to know her (and her family).    It was like he was filling in for me as grandpa because I was so far away in Canada.   When we came to visit as a family around Thanksgiving we went to the Luau at the PCC.   Your dad found out and made sure that we sat all together right in front.   He came down and sat with us when we wasn’t on stage.   He talked to me like an old friend and made us all feel so welcome.   I was amazed that he could talk to me and without missing a beat he would start talking into the mike and carry on with his parts in the show.    Since that day I met him I’ve felt nothing but love and gratitude for him.   I love his music but I love his Aloha spirit even more.   He made a difference in the lives of my daughter and her family.    My son-in-law was a new convert to the Church.    Laie and the people of that area, like your dad, made such and impact on him.    And I can’t tell you how big of an impact she made on my granddaughter Brylie.    

I just wanted to let you know and perhaps you can let him know that he has made a difference in my life and he doesn’t even know me.    

Our prayers are with you and your family.   May the Lords blessings be with you all.

With gratitude.

Doug Takahashi

Calgary, Alberta Canada

PS.  My daughter took the attached picture that night at the PCC.   She had him sign it and sent it to me for my birthday.   I hangs on the wall in my office at home and..(that's where it ended off, sorry Doug!)

              

So daddy, you are loved. You have inspired people whether or not you were aware. We are all praying and rooting for you. We love you! 

i love you, papa (Blade's first typed message ;) )

Gratitude

給一個人一條魚，你可以餵他一天。教人以漁，你餵他一輩子

Gěi yīgèrén yītiáo yú, nǐ kěyǐ wèi tā yītiān. Jiào rén yǐ yú, nǐ wèi tā yībèizi.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

     Growing up in my house, it was hard NOT to learn how to cook. It wasn't that I resented cooking but as a teenager I thought cooking for the family was the mother's job (now that I'm a mom I totally disagree). There were times when my mom would feel really sick after a long day at work so she's lie down. She'd ask us (I won't tell you how many times she'd have to ask us as we fought over who'd do it) many times to help. We were, for the most part, unwilling children. Both mom and dad can cook but dad would sometimes some home late so usually mom would do the cooking. But when she was sick she's instruct us from the room. Running back and forth from her room to the kitchen. Cut the meat this way. Stir the food that way. I thought it was the worst. Now that I have my own family I am so grateful that I was taught how to cook. Not only from the room, but through example. They say you shouldn't give a gift grudgingly? I say you shouldn't "help" with cooking grudgingly because you just might miss out on something you wish you could have back. Time.

   Time spent with family and friends. I think about it now and realize all those times I had to husk the ears of Kahuku Super Sweet Corn or peel the shells off the shrimp were opportune moments to catch up on the lives of my siblings. Though as teenagers we were busy finding ourselves, I wish I took the time to see how mom's day was. To ask how many new friends dad made at work. All those countless hours I spent just chopping away at onions when I could have also been laughing and joking with my loved ones. Don't get me wrong, we did have lots of fun. Like I said, us children were trying to figure out who we were.

    Last Monday I talked to dad and he was really tired. I talked about this blog and asked him to tell me some stories about when he was younger. He told me that once he had taken mom diving. He wanted to lay net but before he went in he used a stick to draw, in the sand, what an octopus hole looked like. While he went and laid net, mom went her way on the reef. When dad came back, mom took him by the hand and showed him 5, yes, 5 octopus holes she'd found. All of which contained octopus. Dad was AMAZED. As he told me this I responded, "what the heck?!? 25 years and I STILL don't know how to find one!" Dad said it was awesome. His tone of voice made it almost seem that this was the deal breaker. I joked that after that he said, 'wait here,' then came back with a ring. When I checked the validity (fishermen love telling stories) of the story she laughed and said, "yeah, he called me Squid Eyes after that." I could see that happening.

     The Chinese have a proverb that says, "If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime." I believe this to be true. Mom and dad could easily have made dinner or ordered take out every night. I am so grateful that they wanted our help in cooking because not only do I have a very happy and well fed husband, but because I was able to use my love of cooking, especially barbecuing, to throw together a fundraiser for dad this past weekend. It was more stressful than I thought. In my head I thought I'd only be selling around 50 plates tops. But order after order came in and I was amazed at the support that came pouring in. What, for a moment, felt like an overwhelming experience became lightened at the thought of mom and dad receiving so much love and support by many who have never met them. By the end of the day we had made over 110 plates!

   The Lord has promised that if we live by His commandments that he will pour out His blessings upon us. The fundraiser was proof that The Lord truly showers us with His love. Friends showed up to help and though I did not delegate well, they didn't complain. They stayed for hours as friend after friend came to pick up their plates. Some friends donated food which helped save me tons of time. One friend donated a beautiful quilt to be auctioned off.

   By the end of the day I just sat quietly in my rather untidy two bedroom apartment. A feeling of peace and gratitude came over me as a faces of the day crossed my mind. My husband, who works nights so that he can go to school during the day, was so helpful with our three month old daughter. He only got two hours of sleep before work but didn't complain once. Even our daughter let me put her down for hours at a time and only cried for food once the entire time we were cooking. I will never forget the feeling I had as tears threatened to stream down my face. No words could ever express my gratitude to everyone who contributed to dad's cause.

     Mom and dad were very surprised when I finally told them about the plate sale. They were and are so very grateful for the support they received. I know it was actually the cooking that brought everyone, just kidding ;). We surpassed our goal by the first half hour. 

    From the Kai ohana, we want to thank you for your love and support.

"Thy will be done. But for now we fight."

Talents

As I was growing up I enjoyed watching my parents create things with their hands. Crafting, jewelry making, cooking, etc. One of the things I am grateful dad let me play around with was his wood burner. Since moving to AZ I decided to get more into that. I'm no expert and am by far not the greatest in the business, but I do enjoy creating these little works of art. Most of the time, I just sit there and stare at my blank piece of wood wondering why I decided to even do another piece. The more difficult the project the more I wonder, "what the heck did I get myself into?" By the end I can honestly say that I am somewhat satisfied with the outcome.

Did these for Tash. I wasn't too please with the outcome though. I normally did one with a hibiscus and it was styled way better. Sorry Tash, I jipped you. I'm a person who thrives on chaos; the harder the task the sweeter the reward...like this one below. I was playing the uke and thought, "why not."

 

I decided to make a few real quick. These smaller, CTR and RWH ones I did quick and these are actually the "rough drafts". I did final ones and ended up giving them away. They were styled a little different. The CTR was more bold so it stood out more than the design.

The "Lead me Guide me" was inspired by this pic we snapped walking in to church. The Hingson Ohana was a birthday present for my husband (1' x 2') 

Some of the most challenging ones I've done would have to have been the Fijian masi (i think it's called?? Please correct me if I'm wrong). Last Christmas we were lucky enough to get invited to another Sheffet family gathering. For the secret santa I got Nana Kiji. I just had a baby a few weeks before and really wasn't in the "wood burning" mood (or any mood for that matter). So on the day we celebrated HeiTiare's (Yes, my daughter whose name my husband stole from Aunty Tetua's daughter) blessing I was able to present her with this...

 

I really did enjoy making this one (1x2 ft.). 

So, in a continuing effort to help raise funds for dad and his treatments I will be selling these. I don't have them so think of it as Jack-in-the-Box where I won't make it till you order it. I will start doing some things here and there and when I do I will post more pictures and you can either buy it there, or make a few tweaks wherever you want. I am just grateful that all those hours of watching my parents create have helped me to discover a love for creating. It's a wonder my first request (when we are finally able to own a home) is to build me a work section in the garage ;) Pierce thanks you mom and dad. hehe.email me or FB message me if you are ever interested. Mahalo

My father has always been an entertainer. From an early age he loved to perform for others. His love for music stemmed from his late mother. She was of the Pentecostal faith and used her talent in music to touch the hearts of the congragations that gathered. When dad was 12, his mother passed away. At her gravesite he had promised that he wouldn't let a day go by where he didn't strum his ukulele. 

I know if you have ever visited the luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center while my father was performing you may have heard the story. I was lucky enough to witness this promise be fulfilled. Our house was always filled with the sound of dad's ukulele. Practicing. I thought it was perfect and never understood why he continued to play day after day when it sounded just right to me. But it had been his way of fulfilling a promise he made to his mother, some 40 years ago. A promise. 

He and mom were always involved in our lives. From track meets and soccer games to dance recitals and class projects. Their love for us wasn't only expressed in words, but in deed. I never realized how exhausting it must have been for them to try make it to each of their 6 children's extracurricular activities. I used to feel so discouraged when I'd look into the stands and not see them there. But I know now that they, too, felt discouraged that they weren't able to   watch us perform all the time. We loved having them in our lives. They were married in the Laie, Hawai'i temple in 1982 and have since tried their best to establish a home based on love and service. But as you could imagine with three teenage girls (who all wore about the same size clothes), it wasn't always the case. But they continued to help us build our testimonies in the Savior and our faith in God's plan for us. 

 I was married in 2009 and my husband and I were expecting our first son in May of 2010. In April of that year I received a call while at a friend's house for dinner. "Dad's in the hospital." It was a couple months before the doctors "concluded" that he had Still's disease. It would be a few years of hospital trips, faintings, ailing, and paralysis before doctors found that he had developed tumors in is liver, lungs, spleen, and spine. At it's rate of growth, the doctors (at a different hospital than the first time) gathered that his tumors had been growing for approximately 3 years. Misdiagnosed. The tumor in his spine had grown into his spinal chord. It was devistating for him and devistating for all of us. My mom especially. 

In June my mom was visiting us here in Arizona. I have their only grandchildren who live outside Hawai'i. They have only met my kids a handful of times. Initially the plan was for mom and my youngest brother to come and visit. They would fly back with us since my husband wasn't able to get work off for the amount of time we'd be visiting. Upon return my dad was supposed to accompany us. I was pregnant with our third so traveling alone with the two boys was a big "no-no" in my opinion. Mom came and we had loads of fun. Hiking Walnut Canyon. Visiting Slide Rock. Viewing the majestic Grand Canyon. She talked to dad every day. He wasn't doing too well. His medication wasn't helping and he decided to go to the chiropractor. Dad told mom he felt brand new. The following day we flew back to Hawai'i. Home sweet home.

Upon arrival our family friends greeted us and helped take our luggage home. They asked how dad was doing. He went to the hospital after seeing the chiropractor. Parylized from the waiste down. We hadn't heard how he was doing. Mom turned on her phone. When we got into the car mom's phone notified her of a text message. It was from dad. She gasped. She read aloud. He first expressed his love for her. He went on to explain that the doctors found a tumor in his spinal chord and they needed to operate immediately. They wanted him and mom to make a decision together but we were already in flight. The doctors who saw the tumor gave him 3-6 months. After mom read this the car fell silent. Mom, my two younger brothers, my nephew, my two children. The tears were silent and the feeling heavy. We went straight to the hospital. 

  Dad was in the ICU recovering from his surgery. They removed most of the tumor but also had to replace some of the vertabrae. We let mom go in first and spend some time alone with dad. Waiting was dreadful. All around us people were having to decide whether or not to "let go" of their loved ones. The atmosphere was grim. Some of dad's relatives were there and we were smiling and giggling, trying to lighten the mood. Then my turn to see dad came. My heart sunk. I didn't know what to say to him. But he was my daddy. I walked into the room without my sidekicks. They were still too young. I gave dad a kiss on the cheek and in no time we were laughing. Humor. It is amazing how much humor can lighten a load or bring peace in moments of despair. Laughter. Soon, family and friends were gathered in his room. I know he wanted to sleep, that he wanted to just close his eyes and relax for a while. But with a smile on his face he continued in conversation. We realized then that had he not gone to the chiropractor he wouldn't have known the cancer was there. It was truly a blessing.

       It was a long battle. Full of ups and downs, as it goes with chemo. Healthy and thriving, to tired and withered. But he pushed on. Countless visitors came to see him. Each time bringing more and more hope to him and leaving with more hope than when they came. Music filled his room. That was his first request for mom. His uke. It had been the first time he hadn't played in a day but I'm sure grandma Josephine understood. Now that he had his uke, he played it every chance he got. Once he was able to sit up without passing out and without pain, he had the nurses bring him to friends' rooms so that he could check up on them. He had a few classmates pass through those rooms so he would roll, with uke in hand, to spread a little bit of aloha.

Aloha. That's what he was all about his entire life. Seeing how he could better the lives of those he came in contact with. By November and after 6 rounds of chemo, Dr. Acoba came into dad's room with two thumbs up. "You are free," was what he told dad. It was truly a miracle. After countless prayers, hours of fasting, and numberless times his name was taken to the temple, we were truly grateful for our family and friends who had the faith to help dad be free of cancer. He was home.

Last month dad was feeling sick. He tried to ignore it but wasn't able to handle the pain any longer. Mom took him to the ER where they found an obscene amount of fluid in his lungs. Upon further review of the x-rays, the doctors noticed the growing tumor on the outside of his lung. It had returned. Our hearts sunk. But this time we were prepared. Dad was in the hospital for a couple weeks and just got through his first round of chemo. The doctor decided that if the cancer came back that rapidly, they would need to do a bone marrow transplant. A trip to the mainland. 

It has been one whirlwind of a year but in all I would have to say that it has been our faith in the Savior and God's plan for us that has been our guiding light. We have faced so many obstacles and know that there are many more to come. We also know that there are many, many people out there who have been and are going through what our family is going thorough. My dad doesn't actually know that I am starting this blog but he will very shortly. I know that he has made many, many friends over the years who are always wanting to know how he is doing. I know we have facebook to catch up on him, but I figured this will be a great way for everyone to learn about this man. 

I would love to know how you met my dad or maybe a story about how he has touched your life. I wanted to make this blog about you. A way for you to show dad how many people he has inspired. I think it is also a great way for us, his children, to learn more about the man we call father. 

Please message me your stories on facebook. Krisha Hingson. Or you you may email me at mamakrisha10@gmail.com. I will feature stories on this blog when I get them so keep a close watch ;).

Thank you for being a part of my father's life. We are so very grateful for the love you have shown us through prayers and service for him and my family. We love you and pray for you.

"Thy will be done, but for now we fight."